mace to the face

having had no experience with pepper spray,
and having recently been given some to carry for safety,
i decided to test out the sprayer to make sure that
it was ready to go should i need it.
was it pump action or a contant stream of pepper spray?
i didn't know and thought i should.
the directions clearly stated to test the sprayer outside
but it was cold out there so i sprayed a little into the kitchen sink.
just a little.
then i decided i better rinse it down the sink
and for some reason i thought hot water would be a good idea.
hot water produces steam obviously
and steam full of pepper spray is not good.

i effectively pepper sprayed my entire household
as well as a few guests who were over at the time.
not a full blast to the face, of course,
but there was plenty of coughing and stinging between us all.
sorry guys.
sometimes i just do dumb things.

-nicole

button button, who has the button?

just in case anyone who reads this
has ever entertained the idea
that i was a cool kid,
i should inform you that one of the things that
has been occupying my time this week
is organizing my button collection.

i recently acquired a shoebox full of buttons,
some of them still on their vintage packaging.
i'm tying the matching buttons together with book-binding string
and organizing them all according to color.

very girl-nerdy.
but hey, it's winter in minnesota
and an unusually cold one at that.
i'm just trying to find things to do around the home
besides eating all the day and evening long.

never have i a wanted a warm-weather vacation
more than these past days.

-nicole

i still tell you my every day

it's been the coldest of the cold here for a couple weeks
and my skin is crackling!
humidifier and baby oil to the rescue but it's not quite enough.

i'm getting a little bored being here in this house all the time
but what can you do, really, when merely one step outside
makes all that winter snot that normally runs down your face
freeze in your nose?

tonight boredom was kept far away by baking ginger cookies
and eating five of them with a big glass of one percent.

this was followed by making fireflies in the dark
using very dry, static-laden laundry.
i didn't think it was possible,
fireflies in january.

-nicole

anybody out there?

no posts in december?!
it was a busy month,
i used my computer to listen to music
and that's about it.
a christmas celebration here,
another one there
and a friend's wedding in between.

i sat at home and did a puzzle on new year's eve
and that was enough excitement for me.
i think i looked at my clock around midnight,
just to know when seven became eight.
it's nice to know those things.

-nicole

this and that

the high today was 18.
that's pretty cold.
not biting and painfully cold,
but close.
i'll save the words 'biting' and 'painful'
for those days that never do make it above zero.

i really enjoy seeing the thick clouds of breath and car exhaust
that appear when the air gets this cold.
there's something very familiar and constant about it.

i'm starting my tenth month without a car
and still enjoying it.
mostly.
i've not been brave enough to bike the last couple weeks
but the bus is kind enough to take me where i need to go.
i should get a better coat and some goggles
and then i'll be set.
i'm really not up for biking with stinging, watery
and eventually frozen eyeballs.

-nicole

where did i go?

this is a much overdue post.
and a weak one at that
as it's almost bedtime.

i'll try harder next time, i promise.

i'm way behind on all things internet right now.
blogs, photos, emails, everything. yikes.
and now i'm going to north dakota
for the rest of the week
where i'll be lucky to have phone service.
but it's time for some family, some stuffing, some vegetables.
oh, the vegetables!
i'm ready for gravy all over my plate
and running around with my littlest cousins.

i hope you have a lovely holiday.
make sure you stuff your face.

-nicole

storypeople

i love this stuff.
i can spend hours reading stories online
since i don't yet own any of the books.
i only wish the drawings were posted
along with the stories but
sometimes they're funnier when i'm left to my own devices.

here are a few of my favorites.

young tomatoes
My grandma used to plant tomato seedlings in tin cans from tomato sauce & puree & crushed tomatoes she got from the Italian restaurant by her house, but she always soaked the labels off first. I don't want them to be anxious about the future, she said. It's not healthy.

garage sale
After she had that last big garage sale she floated off into the sky & I heard her say there was nothing keeping her here anymore & I was much more cautious about the stuff I got rid of after that.

dropping like flies
I like people until they give me reason not to, she said. Some days they just drop like flies, though, she added.

crayon pirate
There was a single blue line of crayon drawn across every wall in the house. What does it mean? I said. A pirate needs the sight of the sea, he said & then he pulled his eye patch down & turned and sailed away.

quiet prayer
As long as the sun shall rise goes the old lovers vow. But we are children of a scientific age & have no time for poetry. Still, I offer a quiet prayer of thanks for the sunlight each time I see your face.

perfect day
It was a day filled with the glow of ordinary things & we passed them quietly from hand to hand for a long time & someone said she had picked a perfect day to be born & I think all of us felt the same.

cultural fable
Once upon a time there was a pig who spoke eight languages & did sculpture with pieces of wood & rusted metal he found on his travels. One day he was out in the woods working on a new installation piece & he met a family from a small town in Tennessee. They had been walking for days. The dad saw the pig & said what are you doing, little piggie? They were all quite surprised when the pig said working with counterbalanced forces using found objects. They all stood around & looked at the piece for a long time. No one said anything. Finally, the dad shrugged & turned to the mom & said I don't know much about art but I know what I like & then they killed the pig & ate him.

(title unknown to me)
My grandfather used to come home from work & he'd stomp twice on the porch with his big boots & he'd say, It's time to be afraid & we'd start screaming & my sister hid behind the piano & I'd hide in the hall closet that smelled like moth balls & it would get very quiet & then he would say, Now, it's time to be very afraid & then we'd start laughing & he'd drag us out, one under each arm, & give us toffee & chocolates & to this day whenever someone says it's time to be afraid, I scream for a little while like everybody else, but I'm really just waiting for the treats.

-nicole