there are wild squirrels in my house.

i don't know how many.
at first i thought that maybe
we just had some very active mice
living in the space between
the first and second floors of my house.
no, the mice are just hanging out
in my roommate's food cupboard.
they eat his food and then poo on the shelf.

the critters living in the ceiling
are most definitely squirrels.
it's too freaking cold right now
to investigate the situation
and banish the intruders
but this weekend they're in for it.
they hang out on the roof of the back porch,
the same roof that my bedroom window looks out on.
somehow they've made/found a hole along where
the porch roof meets the house.

for weeks they've been scampering about,
right under my room.
they're probably really pumped about
this warm home they found
and are, i'm sure, quite settled in.
life is good.

too bad for them, i don't trust squirrels.
i've seen what they can do to a garden
and i've also had my life threatened
by a squirrel over a candy bar.
i didn't even want his candy bar.
you may be wondering how a squirrel can be so
threatening and the only thing i can say
is that it was in his eyes.
he didn't have to say a word.

anyway, we don't know quite how to get rid
of our unwanted tenants.
if we just patch up the hole
it's likely that we will seal them in
where they will either die and smell
or they'll work their way into
the rest of the house.

we have a couple days
to come up with a plan.
i wish it didn't have to come to this.
i kind of want to leave the squirrels a letter
explaining the situation and then they can
leave of their own volition.
i don't think that would work.
they'd probably just eat the note or
make curtains out of it or something.

sorry squirrels.

-nicole